What makes us and how can we change it?

Do you ever wonder what makes us the way we are? Are we the way we are because of how we were raised, or did life's little curve balls make us what we are? Maybe a little of both? Are you the same as you were when you were younger? I know I'm not. So maybe it is a little of both. How were you different then when you were younger? with me I was raised in a small hick town so there wasn't really a lot to do but I did stay active walked a lot, was in the FFA, went to state fairs, went to dances, went to football games alot,  had friends, one best friend of course, and did other things so yea I was sort of active. also I really didn't care what people thought of me and I  wasn't into stylish things so I dressed in stuff I loved to wear. But through the years I've had alot relationship problems. Either the guy's were jerks, alcoholics or drug heads. They put you down calling you every name in the book, they start fights then drag you through the mud and after awhile you get a complex. After being rejected and abused what makes me different from when I was younger? I had no close friends except whats on facebook. I stayed in the back ground not really wanting to be noticed. I felt like a loser never going to get any where. For 2 years I stayed in doors afraid to leave the house. when I did I would have sever panic attacks. I went from not being on any prescription drugs to Depression, anxiety, Acid reflux, and high blood pressure pills. My kids are estranged from me I hardly call them. so you see that's how I'm different from when I was younger. You think to your self how do I change it? Here's how I'm doing it. I've push back all the stuff that's happened to me through the years I've decided I'm not going to let it bother me anymore. While I still have panic attacks and still have to take pills I'm pushing my self. My life has changed so much this year I'm starting to like my self again. I don't want to live the life I was living any more I hated it, so I decided to go back to school. I enrolled in college. I met a friend and I'm starting to make more. I'm doing good in my english and reading but having a tough time in math. I was never really good in math in elementary and high school so I sort of knew that I would have a problem with it in college. I'm just going to have to push my self harder I really want this and I know I can do it. Just like if anyone out there is going through what I've went through you can do it. Push your selves. push back everything that has happened to you and say I'm not going to let it bother me anymore. I want a live, I want to love myself and I'm going to see that it happens. YOU are the only thing that's standing in your way and YOU are the only one that can change it.