Book Lover

I love books. It's kind of funny, before I really didn't read maybe one book. Then when the Harry Potter books came out I couldn't stay away from them but they were the only books I would read. Then about 5 years ago my niece begged me to read a romance novel. So one summer day when there was nothing to do I asked her to let me look at her books she just bought. I went through them and I picked out one by Ellen Archer called Darling. I read the first chapter and I was hooked. I couldn't put it down. After that book I went through my niece's other books Lisa Kleypas, Lorraine Heath, Sandra Hill & Johanna Lindsay I couldn't get enough.. I ate them up like crazy. I wanted more so I started collecting all their books mainly collecting historicals like Julia Quinn, Mary Joe Putney, Christina Dodd etc. now Christina Dodd introduced me to paranormals Then I started collecting Sherrilyn Kenyon, Nina Bangs, Kerrelyn Sparks, Janet Chapman & Laurell K Hamilton. Then I started reading Contemporary romances and started collecting them. Like Robyn Carr, Sherryl woods & Linda Lael Miller Etc. Now I have 3 book shelves full, front and back of books. Then a few months ago my husband bought me a nook. Talk about excited and right away started down loading books. Do you read? what do you read and how much do you read? 

Chicken Soup

Well It's that time of year again. Winters here and I'm ready for it. I Love winter it's that time for hot chocolate, Chili and Soup. I made Chicken soup for dinner but I've been snacking on the carrots. Now  I don't think I could eat the soup and I was so looking forward to it. Do you ever do that when you cook? Nit pick then don't eat what you made? It's kind of funny but sad to don't you think? Is that why we married women get over weight? When you feel you have to eat because you cooked it even if your full of snacking?  

Old People

Do you ever stop and look at old people and wonder what kind of life they have lived? The other day when I was in walmart waiting in line I looked over at the other line and I seen an man about in his mid seventies. he was wearing blue jeans and a western shirt, brown cowboy hat and brown boot's. For some reason I tried to picture him as a young man. Tall, blonde hair, & blue eyes. Riding high on his trusty stead, rounding up cows, a dog running besides him. Then the scene would change to him throwing hay in the stalls with his shirt off, body fit from hard work and tanned from the sun. He stops and pushes his sweaty hair from his face. Then when the daydream gets really good I noticed the old man was looking at me. I turned away embarrassed at him catching me staring. lol. From that day I started watching older people and thinking of them when they were young. You have your war hero's, hard working women, a wonderful woman that cooked and kept the house cleaned, a business entrepreneur, a chef, there's so many rolls that come in to play. I try not to think of them as wife beaters sexual predators and murders. there's to much of that in this world. So I try to make it a happy one. you should try it it's kind of fun plus it makes you look at older people with a lot of respect and in a whole different way.  

What makes us and how can we change it?

Do you ever wonder what makes us the way we are? Are we the way we are because of how we were raised, or did life's little curve balls make us what we are? Maybe a little of both? Are you the same as you were when you were younger? I know I'm not. So maybe it is a little of both. How were you different then when you were younger? with me I was raised in a small hick town so there wasn't really a lot to do but I did stay active walked a lot, was in the FFA, went to state fairs, went to dances, went to football games alot,  had friends, one best friend of course, and did other things so yea I was sort of active. also I really didn't care what people thought of me and I  wasn't into stylish things so I dressed in stuff I loved to wear. But through the years I've had alot relationship problems. Either the guy's were jerks, alcoholics or drug heads. They put you down calling you every name in the book, they start fights then drag you through the mud and after awhile you get a complex. After being rejected and abused what makes me different from when I was younger? I had no close friends except whats on facebook. I stayed in the back ground not really wanting to be noticed. I felt like a loser never going to get any where. For 2 years I stayed in doors afraid to leave the house. when I did I would have sever panic attacks. I went from not being on any prescription drugs to Depression, anxiety, Acid reflux, and high blood pressure pills. My kids are estranged from me I hardly call them. so you see that's how I'm different from when I was younger. You think to your self how do I change it? Here's how I'm doing it. I've push back all the stuff that's happened to me through the years I've decided I'm not going to let it bother me anymore. While I still have panic attacks and still have to take pills I'm pushing my self. My life has changed so much this year I'm starting to like my self again. I don't want to live the life I was living any more I hated it, so I decided to go back to school. I enrolled in college. I met a friend and I'm starting to make more. I'm doing good in my english and reading but having a tough time in math. I was never really good in math in elementary and high school so I sort of knew that I would have a problem with it in college. I'm just going to have to push my self harder I really want this and I know I can do it. Just like if anyone out there is going through what I've went through you can do it. Push your selves. push back everything that has happened to you and say I'm not going to let it bother me anymore. I want a live, I want to love myself and I'm going to see that it happens. YOU are the only thing that's standing in your way and YOU are the only one that can change it.